Photo: Thomas Wanhoff

In “Urban Tantra” Barbara Carrellas discuss a powerful concept – The Resilient Edge of Resistance.
The Resilient Edge of Resistance when applied to touch is the kind that you’ll want to receive forever. It’s not too hard, nor too soft. It’s like when you’re showering: If you’d make it hotter, it would be too hot. If you’d make it colder, it would be too cold.
The good touch is adapted to the feedback that you get from your subject. It’s dynamic in pressure, location and “tool of choice” (tools as in fingers, hands, feathers etc).
The goal of this is to build up an environment which supports the subject to open up and take risks, getting deeper into the experience in a safe and comfortable way. If you would go over this edge, you’d probably cause pain. If you stay below the edge, that could be equally painful.
This concept applies to everything in life.

It’s a very powerful practice, and you could easily apply it to conversations and other forms of interactions. You’ll get more sensitive and aware, and you’ll focus on delivering value instead of reacting out of old habits.